Wednesday, February 10, 2010

For the Ribbons

Ribbons on the ground
and fading
color thru the crowd
and town
was fakinging happy smiles
and laughs
to get their hearts desire.

No rush, no push,
No evidence
or singing songs of
No, only just intellegences
Drifting thru the mire.

Before I could awake,
I found myself all shakes
the rise
of spirits all around me
black and lifeless,
probing eyes.

I tried to focus
my eyes up to the
Could it be this roof is
Ribbons paint the sky.

"Oh save!" I cry
the colors bled
from blue to purple then
to red,
the image burning,
the heat was growing nye.

Then fight, I thought
"I'll fight!" I cried
"I will not let this war
or dictate
where my house resides
for I am strong!" said I.

I chose, you chose
now there's your lot
so take it,
and please stop
the wailing and the gnashing
(and the flailing and the thrashing)
For the rest of us aren't casting
all our efforts to the fire.

Ribbons stretching long now
I can see my place outside.

Outside the sinking
souless souls
that suffocate my prayer
of prose
I find an outstretched hand
and throw my body to the

I turn to gaze
the hazy ribbons that
the vision.
Now I must return to where the
Ribbons hold
The Light.

Til then I'll keep the


  1. This poem didn't quite grab my attention like the other one did. I am not sure that I understand what it's about. Some of the words you used were descriptive but I wasn't quite sure what it was you were describing. The stanza that starts out "No rush no push" didn't seem to flow very well. What are the Ribbons?

  2. Hmmm...I have never had much of a poetry mind, and this poem confirmed that. Since I know you, I am thinking it was you describing a dream you had metaphorically, but that could be totally wrong. I could tell that there was a struggle, but I'm not sure what it was over. The way the sentence were spaced and the letters you chose to capitalize (or not) confused me.

  3. I am pleantly surprised. I loved it. I found myself singing the words instead of reading them. Ha. That was fun.

  4. I think the think I tend to dislike about poetry is the ambiguity. Most of the time it is intentionally (or sometimes unintentionally) left vary vague as to be up to the readers interpretation. For us engineer minds this creates a problem as the need for a little thing called IMAGINATION arises. I like things laid out in front of me plainly. But, then again, perhaps it's not meant to be vague at all, and you wrote it with some sort of purpose or experience. Either way, I think you are a fine poet and very descriptive. I too got the vision of a struggle or sense of non-peace. I think this is only because when you read a poem you don't really read to understand but rather to get a FEELING. And rather than taking the time to understand the contents surrounding the word "war", your mind just soaks in the word war which paints a non-peaceful feeling. But deeper study of the poem (I actually read it a few time! wow for me...) reveals that it sort of has an overall optimistic message.
    In summary, I think it is a great thought-provoking piece left up to the readers mood. :)
    And how is THAT for ambiguity?